Well you probably guessed by now that I am not one that talks about how I feel. I don’t know why, I have such a hard time expressing things I guess. I never even wrote much about losing the twins, I do think about what could have been, and I think of the baby I have now, that I would have had, if they had of been born. Even if you knew me, I’m not one that talks about how I feel. I keep things pretty much to myself. A few had asked how I was feeling emotionally since I had my tubes done, and to be honest, i don’t regret it. I thought I would, but really I don’t. I know that my family is complete, 5 children is a lot to take care of, and it’ll only get more crazy, and expensive as they get older. Then I look at how fortunate I am, there are so many that struggle to even have one child and here I am with 5! I thought about my last 2 pregnancies and the complications that had occurred, Ava with her cord wrapped around her neck twice, with her initial apgar of 4, what could have happened is awful, then Nolan with his thin cord and that band across the placenta, to chance things again isn’t something I would want to do. I have perfectly healthy children and am grateful for this.

Anyway, that was a long blurb to answer a question. On another topic, E’s bday party is tomorrow, he turned 8 yrs old yesterday. I’ll post pics tomorrow after the party 🙂


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisanne
    Jan 19, 2008 @ 23:50:00

    I’m so glad that you’re doing OK emotionally with your decision. It sounds like you’re in a good place, and that’s wonderful! You’re right ~ there are so many things to consider when the kids get older ~ college, for one! Oh my ~ it’s *so* expensive. Anyway, I’m glad that you’re doing fine now. I think that I’m good at explaining how I feel, but I can understand the other side of it ~ writing about feelings can be a challenge sometimes, for sure. Hope you’re having a nice weekend!


  2. twinsRus
    Jan 20, 2008 @ 02:54:00

    Hi! I am glad that u r not regretting your decision. I never knew that u lost twins. How is baby Nolan doing? R u still living with your in-laws?


  3. Shannon
    Jan 21, 2008 @ 23:15:00

    Just think of all the aid you kids are going to get for college… it will save ya a ton hehehe… but I am glad you are feeling ok, with everything that has happened in the last few months and years!


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