Finally some recent pics of the kids


Oiy, another day of moodiness…
Just waiting for a call from the nurse to start on remicade…i’m hoping i’m one of the fortunate ones that go in remission within a few rounds…hopefully not one that has a severe reaction…i think it makes it worse being a nurse working adn caring for people with severe sepsis, chf and other of the bad reactions…

Raging Bitch~

Yah, that’s what i am, a raging, hormonal, crazed bitch. The high doses of the prednisone is driving me crazy. I’m not getting any relief from the pain, i’m only getting super mad at everything. I don’t have patience…i’m so easily agitated and want to scream at EVERYONE and Everything! I’m so upset at how i feel i’m tempted to just wean off VERY quickly, because i don’t like how i feel. This rollercoaster of moods is really getting to me….ugh~

Aside from this, i have immersed myself in the… books ( ser.ies) I’m what i would call addicted to them now. They certainly don’t have me loving them as much as Tw.,il.ight, but nonetheless they are a good read with some much needed raunch scenes in them 🙂

So Tired!~

As my title of the post says…I’m exhausted!
I started this journal back when i was preggo with my 4th, I also journaled about my crohn’s disease and how often i had flare ups and my treatments and whatnot.

Well about 6 weeks ago, i relapsed into another wonderful flare up of my guts. I was on prednisone 50mg, and then tapered. Of course this time in 5 weeks it didn’t get any better. Now my hgb is in the low 90’s, I’m insanely tired. I”m off work on sick leave for a couple of weeks. I am seeing a new GI guy at work. He works internal med, so we have him admit cardiac pts. He’s so nice, so he’s easy to talk to that ‘s for sure.
Basically, he’s diagnosed me with crohn’s/colitis. Yep, leave it to me to have both…and said that i’m steroid dependant which isn’t helping for the moment. So he gave me 3 options. Imuran, methotrexate or go to remicade or humira. The side effects from all are bad, but of course not treating properly is bad too. (in bad i mean cancer causing, rare form of lymphoma) So feeling as ill as i am, walking around like talking dead, i’ve opted for remicade. I haven’t started it yet, just waiting to have my CT and CXR done. I’m scared of course, but the imuran would take another 3 months before i may feel better. I can’t go on like this much longer. Anyway, sorry about the whiney post, just for my records and whatever.

What a long night

I worked a 12 hr backshift last night… was quite the eventful shift needless to say.
One thing i haven’t blogged about lately is that I have accepted a job in coronary care, as opposed to intensive care. It is basically the same, well qualifications and whatnot it is the same, just not as much vents and longterm patients.
Anyway, i get on shift last night, the nurse i was relieving wasn’t there, she was up on the floors with a patient that had arrested earlier, when one of us arrives, a critical care nurse has to stay until transfer to icu/ccu. Anyway, we were the only ones with an empty bed so the transfer would come to me. I came up and sadly to say, the family were around, basically letting the patient live until all the family members arrived. So i come back downstairs to find my nurse so she can give me report on my other patient. She does so, and gives me an update about my other patient i had the night before. He came in with a new MI, anyway, coughing, sob, o2 sats were fine, just really restless and pretty much giving all the warning signs of spiraling down the shitter quickly. Needless to say he was airlifted out with cardiogenic shock and died 4 hrs later. Quite sad, he was a very nice man.
After i get my blurb, check my chart, a code blue in is called overhead, of course on the code team off i go, it’s an 8yr old boy, airway obstruction….thank goodness they were quick calling it and it was bascially just manually ventilation and drugs to calm him. THat wouldn’t have been good to see something go wrong…i don’t mind seeing 80 odd yr olds die, but children….nope. So off i go back to my unit.
Maybe a half hr later another code blue announced, up on a surgical floor. I arrived with the other nurses and begin compressions, my arms feel as though they are going to fall off as i type. Poor lady, was 80 some yrs old, ca of the lung, etc, no code status was addressed prior to this, so after 15 minutes later, many attempts at IV’s and whatnot, the dr. decided to call it.
So i get back to my unit, take care of my patient, get my empty bed ready for some kind of admission, (*hopefully it would stay empty*) and sit around doing my checks hrly.
AT 3 am i get another MI, ant/septal infarct. He had TNK and was having frequent f&*ked up arrythmia’s. Anyway, he ended up doing fine but i thought i was going to have deja vu from the night before since he presented pretty much the same as the other fella. ANyway, just thought i’d blog about this craziness, so i could unwind and get tired before going to sleep.


Looks like we won’t be having baby #6..2 positive tests and one negative….i’ve started spotting today, looks like i’ll have my fullblown period by tomorrow.
I’m not sure what was going through my head. i really didn’t want to have anymore, but the idea of it wasn’t the end of the world. If it had happened well we’d have dealt with it.
So anyway, now that’s over, i’ll be getting my IUD next week. No more worries ever again.

Another day of waiting

Well still no show….
What actually prompted me to even consider such things was I was actually at the gyne office requesting the mirena iud for cycle control since I had my tubes done my period has been quite heavy so he said that happens when ppl go off bc so I said I’ll give it a go so he asked when I last had a period I’m all like I don’t know LOL
So I figure it was going to come four days ago but that could be wrong LOL I highly doubt this is the case I’m in but it sure as hell has me wondering

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